I just don't know which way I should go and it really has been frustrating :\
Today in church I was up playing my bass at worship and it was the last song, and it was the old song "Jesus, All for Jesus" and I stopped playing and I started singing to the song. That is something I never do I always focus on playing my bass, but I just stopped and started singing.
I have so many ambitions, plans, hopes and dreams and I have put them all into Gods hands. That has been the most hardest thing for me to ever do. I have put everything into hands, from wanting to work at pixar to a relationship with the most special girl. It has been the most hardest thing I have ever done, I mean I don't know if I will ever get these things back... it kills me.
Anyway, I was in church and I had to turn my back to everyone, this song just made me start crying. I have given up everything, for Jesus. I have surrendered everything to him. The things I would never ever have given up, I have for Him. This song brought me hope, because I don't know if I ever will get the people, dreams and hopes that I love back. I don't know if I ever will. But I do know, that God knows that I have laid everything I love so dearly, into his hands. I have hope that one day, somehow I will get the people, hopes and dreams back.
I don't know, Im just thinking and talking and posting to the world. Sheesh, I'm probably creeping people out. Well this is who I am now, I have been on the wrong side of the fence for so long. I have so many regrets. I just want more of Jesus. I will do anything for Him, even though it hurts me.
Sorry about all of that.
Ethan
Jesus, all for Jesus, All I am and have and ever hope to be. Jesus, all for Jesus, All I am and have and ever hope to be.
All of my ambitions, hopes and plans I surrender these into Your hands. All of my ambitions, hopes and plans I surrender these into Your hands.
For it's only in Your will that I am free, For it's only in Your will that I am free, Jesus, all for Jesus, All I am and have and ever hope to be.
